I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i dont even know how to be here
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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