You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
