I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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