I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
