I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
