I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize