I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
