so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just found puke in my bra..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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