got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
