I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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