If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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