Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
