Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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