That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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