Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
