You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
