I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
a search helicopter?!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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