Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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