woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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