drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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