I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
