CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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