Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
