I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
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How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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