just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
