Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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