At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
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He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
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For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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