and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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