Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
