The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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