i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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