No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
