quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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