return my video game
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
