Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
