I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
