We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
