Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
