They have a pepper shaker for pot.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
