is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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