I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
