You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
