I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
