NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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