Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
