I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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