Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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