I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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