take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
