he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She even gives head with a lisp.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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