Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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