ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
