I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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