I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
ttyl tear gas
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
